Honest Lawyer Sites

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
- William Shakespeare, Henry VI Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2, circa 1590

Send e-mail to an honest lawyer at work

Send e-mail to an honest lawyer at home


Honest Lawyer Sites

Honesty About Lawyers

Where can an Honest Lawyer get a decent meal?

Good Jokes at the Expense of Honest Lawers

No Honest Lawyers Here - Lawyer Haters

Honest Lawyers? No Comment

The Small Print


Honest Lawyer Sites

Schwabe, Williamson & Wyatt
Portland, Oregon



Schwabe at Lawyers.com
A service of Martindale-Hubbell



Jeff at Schwabe.com
Real Estate Law


My link


Honesty About Lawyers

Greedy Associates.com
How much is enough?

How to Evaluate Your Lawyer @ About.com

While all lawyers have met minimum standards through rigorous training, and it is difficult to evaluate expertise per se, certain practices will demonstrate your lawyer's professionalism in obvious ways.

Here's How:

1.Your lawyer should return your telephone calls promptly, usually within one business day.
2. Your lawyer should provide you with regular updates on the status of your case.
3. Your lawyer should make reasonable efforts to bring your legal matter toward a conclusion.
4. You should feel that your lawyer is completely loyal to you.
5. You should feel that your lawyer is willing and able to be honest about your case, including with bad news or even criticism of your wishes.
6. Your attorney should be willing to refer you to someone else, if necessary for further expertise.
7. You should feel confident in the your attorney's ability to keep confidences where appropriate.
8. Your lawyer should provide you with notice and/or copies of documentation relating to actions in your case.
Your lawyer should be up front about matters billed, which should only be for services rendered per your agreement.
10. You should feel that your lawyer isn't pushing litigation for its own sake, or for the sake of attorney fees.
11. You should feel confidence in your lawyer's staff.
12. Deadlines should be met with some room to spare.
13. Your attorney should be prepared and timely when it comes to meetings or appearances on your behalf.


1. Act promptly if you are displeased.
2. Firing or replacing your lawyer is costly in itself. Be sure it is necessary before doing it. Sometimes you need court permission.
3. In cases of serious misconduct, complain to your state bar association.




Where can an Honest Lawyer get a decent meal?

The Honest Lawyer Country Pub and Inn
Monaco, Nelson, New Zealand



 The Honest Lawyer Restaurant
Windsor, Ontario, Canada



Honest Lawyer Pub List




Good Jokes at the Expense of Honest Lawyers

Lawyer Bashing at Cars.com


Cars.com link

How to Hire an Honest Lawyer . . . and Other Oxymorons is attorney Mel Martin's definitive and hilarious guide for when you do have to hire a lawyer. Here you will discover:

  • How to choose an attorney by his appearance (Get the rumpled one)
  • What paralegal really do (get donuts and move furniture)
  • Why you never spit on the legal secretary's ficus (she's tougher than you)
  • Easy steps to make your attorney drop you before you have to pay
  How To...

Picture of an Honest Lawyer

A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch.

A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he's had enough.

The bartender said, "I've got to ask you – what's with the pocket business?" The man replied, "I have my lawyer's picture in there. When he starts to look honest, I've had enough."

Comforting Call

One day the phone rang in the law office of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.

"Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, may I help you?" The caller asked, "I want to speak with Mr. Dewey." "We regret to inform you sir that Mr. Dewey died just yesterday." "Oh, is that right? Good-bye."

Every day for the next two weeks the same man called back, and the same exchange occurred. Finally, the receptionist said, "Sir, I told you that Mr. Dewey died. Why do you keep calling?" The man replied, "I just like to hear it."

  Loony Lawyer Jokes: Vol. 3

An Honest Lawyer

An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel. So she began interviewing young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question."

She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive ... and what sort of case was that?"

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."


A Baffled Lawyer

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I am here because my house burned down and everything I owned was burned. The insurance company paid for everything."

"That is quite a coincidence," said the engineer, "I am here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The lawyer looked somewhat confused and asked, "how do you start a flood?"


An Honest Lawyer

A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summoned to his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his priest and his lawyer.

"I know," the old man sighed, "they say you can't take it with you. But who knows? Suppose they're mistaken. Suppose the Egyptians were right. I'd like to have something with me, just in case."

His three advisors looked at each other in silent wonderment.

"So," continued the old man, "I am giving each of you an envelope containing $100,000.00 in cash. I would be deeply grateful if at my funeral, you would put the envelope in my coffin, so that if it turns out that cash is useful, I'll have a nest egg for eternity."

They each solemnly agree to carry out his last wishes.

Sure enough, after just a few weeks, the old man passed away. At his funeral, each of his three advisors were seen slipping their envelopes into the coffin.

After the burial, as the three were walking away together, the doctor, becoming quite emotional, turned to the other two and said, "Friends, I have a confession to make. As you know, at the hospital we are desperate because of the cutbacks in funding. Our CAT SCAN machine broke down and we haven't been able to get a new one. So I took $20,000 of our friend's money for a new CAT SCAN and put the rest in the coffin as our friend requested."

At this, the priest, a tear in his eye, said, "I, too, have a confession to make. As you know, our small church is simply overwhelmed by the problem of the homeless. The needs keep increasing and we have nowhere too turn. So I took $50,000 from the envelope for our homeless fund and put the rest in the coffin as our friend asked."

Fixing his sternest gaze on the doctor and the priest, the lawyer, shaking his head in disgust, said, "I am astonished and deeply disappointed that you would treat so casually our solemn promises to our dear old friend and benefactor."

The lawyer, pointing an accusing finger at the doctor and the priest, said, "I want you both to know that I placed in his coffin my personal check for the full $100,000!"


An Ethical Dilemma

A lawyer charged a man $500 for given legal services. The client paid him in cash with five crisp new $100 bills. After the client left, the lawyer was smelling the money when he discovered that two bills had stuck together -- he'd been overpaid by $100!

This posed an ethical dilemma for the lawyer: Was he obligated to share the extra $100 with his partner?

  Honest lawyer ?

Honest Epitaph

A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

Honest, but Useless

These two guys, George and Harry, set out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are, lets ask that guy on the ground". So Harry yells down to the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?". And the man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer". And Harry says "How can you tell?". George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate, and totally useless".

But wait, there's more...

The lawyer hears George's comment and yells back "You must be a business man." George replies, "How did you know that?" The lawyer yells "You got yourself into this mess, you have no idea where you are or how you got there, and now it's my fault."

  Gotta Love them Lawyer Jokes!

No Honest Lawyers Here - Lawyer Haters

How To Take Charge and Get Better Results
From Your Lawyer for a Lot Less Money

A lawyer is in business to make money.
has to pay for the Mercedes...

  Dancing with Lawyers

The Anti-Lawyer Political Party
Golden, Colorado


Wake Up and Smell the Lawyers

  Smell 'em

Honest Lawyers? No Comment


If you've been charged with a marijuana crime ... you need immediate relief
to lessen your worries and to take charge of your situation.

(or maybe you have the munchies and just need some brownies?)

  Pot Lawyer

The Jailhouse Lawyer

  Jailhouse Lawyer


  No Lawyer

The Small Print (Courtesy of Honest Lawyer Erik Schimmelbusch):

Disclaimer.  This e-mail does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends,  my dog, my therapist, my religious leaders, or my employees or agents.  All rights reserved.  You may distribute this e-mail freely but you may not make a profit from it.  Terms are subject to change without notice.  Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat.  Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle.  Your mileage may vary.  No substitutions allowed.  For a limited time only.  May cause drowsiness.  May cause excitability or irritability. This e-mail is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor.  E-mail is provided "as is" without any warranties.  Reader assumes full responsibility.  An equal opportunity article; no shoes, no shirt, no service.  Quantities are limited while supplies last.  If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.  Read at your own risk.  Parental discretion advised.  Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable.  Keep away from sunlight.  Keep away from OJ.  Keep away from pets and small children.  Limit one-per-family please.  If pregnant, consult your doctor before using.  No money down.  No purchase necessary.  You need not be present to win.  Some assembly required.  Batteries not included. Instructions are included.  Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while reading this e-mail.  Action figures sold separately.  No preservatives added.  Slippery when wet.  Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection.  Do not read if safety seal is broken.  Call before you dig.  Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse.  For external use only.  Vorsicht!  If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading.  Read only with proper ventilation.  Achtung! Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.  Keep away from open flames.  Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. You have the right to remain silent.  You have the right to an attorney. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.  Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.  Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source.  Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health.  Do not use if you have a pacemaker.  No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added.  If ingested, do not induce vomiting.  If symptoms persist, consult a physician.  Possible penalties for early withdrawal.  Offer valid only at participating sites.  Do not overfill.  Allow four to six weeks for delivery.  Must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.  Other restrictions may apply. This product is meant for educational purposes only. All sales final.  Intentional misuse of this product by deliberately concentrating and inhaling contents could prove harmful or fatal.  This is a dramatization. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. In the event of any transfer of the property, lender may immediately declare sums owing hereunder to be immediately due and payable. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. No refunds.  Prolonged exposure could cause nervous system and/or brain damage.  Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp.  Fasten your seatbelts.  Failure to comply with U.N. demands will result in immediate attack.  Manufacturer disclaims any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for use for a particular purpose.  See other side for additional listings. For recreational use only.  Not valid with any other offer.  Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. This does not constitute legal advice.  Not responsible for lost, stolen or damaged articles.  Not responsible for consequences of any act whatsoever.  Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Enter at your own risk.  Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV.  Not valid for starred attractions.  We cannot assure you that this approach would survive an IRS audit.  One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.  This is only a test.  Had this been an actual emergency, you would have been informed that you should immediately delete this e-mail and seek shelter from fallout.  Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Failure to submit full payment of the fine or to request a hearing by the date set forth above may result in a warrant being issued for the impoundment of your vehicle.  Keep cool.  Process promptly. Consume immediately and dispose of any unused portion.  Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. This product includes materials known by the State of California to cause cancer. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Intentional misuse or alteration will void warranty.  Do not write below this line. Falling rock.  Includes textured vegetable protein.  Wash hands thoroughly after handling and cook at adequate temperature.  Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed.  Open rear door and clear paper path.  Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. Parental consent required. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area.  Do not even touch if you are pregnant or may become pregnant.  Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Studies report some occurrence of liver tumors in laboratory animals.  Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. May contain traces of peanut or other nut oils.  Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final. This and all e-mail should be kept out of reach of children.  Fifteen minute limit when others are waiting. No animals were harmed during the making of this e-mail.  $500 Penalty for throwing away burning material.  Subject to prior sale. Scheduled to appear.  Minors not permitted in this portion of the premises. Eastern & Pacific time.  Light fuse and get away.  Permit on display in management office. You may have other rights which vary from state to state. Unleaded fuel only.  Stay 1000 feet back. To stop receiving this e-mail, reply to this e-mail with the words Bite Me in the Subject Line.  To avoid tipping, do not open more than one drawer at a time. NOTICE:  This communication may contain privileged or other confidential information. If you are not the intended recipient or believe that you may have received this communication in error,  please reply to the sender indicating that fact and delete the copy you received.  In addition, you should not print, copy,  retransmit, disseminate, or otherwise use the information. Thank you.

Back To Jeff and Jaimie's Page